Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Love Is Patient and Love Is Kind, But Am I?

Yesterday, I came across an excellent essay on Heart of the Matter Online, an e-zine (for lack of a better word) for Christian homeschoolers.  Excellent articles abound, by the way, on Heart of the Matter, but this one by Misty Krasawski, really spoke to me.  "1 Corinthians 13 for Homeschool Moms" underscores the main point of this homeschooling adventure.  Here's a quote, just to tempt you to read the entire (brief) essay:

If I have the gift of prophecy, and know my children’s bents and God’s plan for their lives, and know all mysteries and all knowledge, and am the keeper of the teacher’s editions and solutions manuals, and if I have all faith, so as to move mountains, and even keep up with my giant piles of laundry and dishes, but do not have love, I am nothing, even if all the people at church think I’m Supermom.
Or if all the people at church think I'm crazy.  Whichever works for you.

I had two reactions to this article, the first of which was ouch.  Misty touches on a few of my sore points, hangnails I pick at constantly, minor irritations that morph into major humdingers if I happen to be having a less than glowing day.  But my second reaction, as I was interested to note, was: Well, duh.  I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't love my family.  Would you?

And then I started thinking about it.  Or, to put it another way, the Lord highlighted in my mind a few instances in which my motivations may not have been love-induced.  Perhaps my reactions to a few situations had not been handled lovingly.

I know deep down that I have made a commitment to provide the best education possible for my children at home because of my great love for them.  But do they know that?  What am I showing them, day in and day out?  I don't think they are at a maturity level to think: "Wow. Mama's entire life pretty much revolves around us.  She must really love us."  After all, I didn't think that way when I was nine years old.  Who does?

I need to focus more on my motivations and my responses to my family.  I want to put my heart under a microscope to find out what's going on in there.  Is my pride tripping me up?  Am I overburdening myself, doing so much that everything's turning out messy?  Have I blah, blah, blah?  Am I just a clanging gong?

Or am I relying on God's grace to strengthen and sustain me?

1 comment:

  1. An excellent post, Ellie. You are asking questions I have been thinking about lately. I need to handle the friction of life, without making too big a deal of it. If my children over-react, where did they learn that? I think they do not see our devotion as an overwhelming evidence of love, if we are crabby all the time. Our unplanned "vacation" last week was actually one of the best visits we have had in a long time. I only wish we had gone for another purpose. If we can bring some of the peaceful togetherness to our homeschool, I will be so happy. Thank you for the reminder. Keep posting articles in this vein. You are doing a great job.


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