Bien Dans Sa Peau at the Beach

My daughters are in the ocean, jumping waves. The water is frigid, just like the ocean at Old Orchard Beach, Maine, at the height of summer. It took them a while to get used to the water, but once they surrendered to its frigidity, they threw themselves in with abandon. Now they are drenched, salty, sandy, and ecstatic. I am certain their lips are blue.

They say that it's more fun to come to the beach with daddy than with me. He gets in the water with them, while I sit on the beach and read. There was a time in my life when I would have been in that water. In fact, I enjoyed the ocean then more than my daughters do now. My sisters and I paddled on our floats, body surfed, searched for fish and shells, and nursed a few jellyfish stings. A small price to pay.

Now I sit in a beach chair with my book, my big white sun hat protecting my face, my sunglasses covering my reading glasses. I must look ludicrous, but I don't care. I am ecstatic myself. The wind and the smell of the salty air and the feel of the velvety sand on my toes, sand that has just recently been underwater, are heavenly.

There is a narrow lookout between the wide brim of my sun hat and the top of my reading glasses.  I watch my girls through that slit. As I read, I look up periodically to check that they are safe. They don't need me as much any more, and there is freedom for all of us in that. I am able to sit and relax and enjoy. They are able to play and splash and run. And we don’t worry too much about what the other is doing.

We do, however, keep our eyes on each other. We look up from time to time to make sure that the other is still there. That's our touchstone, our way to make sure we are where we are supposed to be in the world.

They've come back to the towels to warm themselves in the sun for a bit. They have taken the time to tell me that I look ridiculous, which I know, but I am beyond the point of caring. In fact I’m beyond the age of caring. And it's rather freeing, this not caring very much of the kind of picture one presents to the world. Sometimes I do care. I take care with my appearance and my clothes and my hair and all of that. But at other times I just let it all go and just be myself, who I am in that moment. And the world can keep its critique to itself.

For me, this is one aspect of the French woman’s ideal, to be bien dans sa peau, literally, “well in her skin.” It’s an all-encompassing phrase with many life aspects. But at the moment, I’m well and truly enjoying one of them. And I’m at peace with myself.

Icing on the Cake: Activities and Pursuits

When I posted about our academic plans, I neglected to include our activities. Granted, activities may not fall under the academic umbrella, but they do add to our enjoyment of life, provide learning opportunities, and encourage personal growth. So what's not to love?

(Maybe the hectic schedule they help to create? Can I get an amen?)

Mondays: Tiny Girl has her riding lesson, and Miss Priss has her (new for us) drama troupe.
Tuesdays: Piano lessons
Wednesdays: Practice ride for Tiny Girl; onCore (our program for elementary-aged children) for Tiny Girl and me (I teach 4th and 5th-grade girls in Bible class); Bible study for Miss Priss
Thursdays: FREE
Fridays: Practice ride for Tiny Girl
Saturdays: Free or another practice ride
Sundays: Church and then late-afternoon choir practice for Miss Priss. Girl Scout meetings MAY meet on Sunday evenings as well (once a month), since that time slot works best for our troop.

Those of you well-versed in equine activities will know that any trip to the barn takes at the very least two hours and quite often more. So we're there a lot. I like it best when the temperature is not freezing cold or blistering hot.

Compared to many of our neighbors, this is an easy activity schedule. Only on one day do we rush from one activity to another (Monday), and there's even an hour of breathing room between! For me, our schedule is just busy enough. One more thing, and I'd be pushed to the breaking point. Or crazy point.

What about you? What's a balanced schedule to your way of thinking?

By the way, as far as icing goes: my new personal favorite is salted caramel frosting. I'm having palpitations just thinking about it.

What I Want You to Know, Part Two: Purpose

In Part One of this series, Who's Talking Louder?, I wrote that we need to be louder than the media to effectively drown out those destructive messages that plague the girls in our care. It's critical that we talk often and loudly about God's love for each girl and His purpose for her life (whatever that may be). We must help them explore their unique gifts and talents and the important ways in which they can use these blessings. In that way, we help instill in our girls a strong core of who they are in God's eyes.

So I've been thinking about the idea of purpose. And here's what I want to say to my daughters:

God created each of you on purpose, and He has in mind a specific role for you to play in the body of Christ. Only you can fulfill that purpose God has planned for you to do.

But don’t worry too much about what that purpose is, exactly. People devote too much time and energy to fretting over their purpose. It’s true that some people have a clear understanding of what they’re meant to do with their lives, a singular focus. Others (like me) live day by day, using whatever gifts we have when we can. Concentrate on seeking and serving God, and fully enjoy the blessings He heaps upon you.

While you're at it, make certain to try new things, even if they may frighten you at first. Don’t be so afraid to fail that you live tentatively, taking few risks and missing out on a rich and varied life. God often asks us to do the very things we feel the least capable of doing. Look at Moses!

Most importantly, seek God through prayer and study. Consider everything you do as serving Him, yes, even when you're cleaning your room! Take time to fully enjoy the blessings He heaps upon you, His beloved child.

Book Suggestions for Pre-Teen Girls

I am always on the lookout for book suggestions for Miss Priss. Tiny Girl likes to read, but Miss Priss is my avid reader right now. (I have hopes that T.G. will blossom in a year or so.) I stumbled upon this member discussion on Amazon, and thought I'd pass it along. Obviously, you'll need to use your own discretion about what's right for your family; but it never hurts to have some titles on a list for future reference.

The discussion made an impression on me because Miss Priss just recently asked me if she could read the original Little Women. I hesitated. Well, it's really long and the language can be a bit archaic! But we read literature chock-full of archaic language in our lessons every day, so she'd probably have no problems. And she's reading The Princess and the Goblin with no problems whatsoever. After reading this discussion, I'm telling her to go for it. I know she'll love Little Women; I did, and I wasn't much older than she.

What I Want You to Know: Who's Talking Louder? (Part One)

I am surrounded by young girls. I have two daughters of my own. I teach Bible to fourth and fifth grade girls on Wednesday nights at church. I also teach fifth grade Sunday school. And I'm a co-leader for my daughters' Girl Scout troop. These girls are between nine and eleven years old, the crucial tween years. I say crucial because our society has already begun an onslaught on them: what's pretty and what's not; what's cool and what's not; what's important and what's not; and what's worthwhile and what's not. And now's the time to intercept those messages, change them into something else.

I'm not the only person who thinks so. Lately, I've been talking about this very topic with other women, other mothers, who want so desperately to be louder than our culture, to speak out against media manipulation, and, truly, to save our girls. And we're not the only ones, either. Contemporary Christian artist Jonny Diaz's fabulous song, "A More Beautiful You" says perfectly the very words we must pass along to our young girls.

Now, I am not a fan of the current philosophy that builds a child's self-esteem in such a way that encourages a sense of entitlement instead of gratitude or superiority instead of service. Not only is that extremely dangerous, it's also unscriptural. Nor do I believe that we should teach our girls that they are inferior or in any way less than other people. I am a fan of embracing God's values instead.

So how do we drown out the enemy? We talk often and loudly about God's love for each girl and His purpose for her life (whatever that may be). We help them explore their gifts and talents and the important ways in which they can use them. We instill in our girls such a strong core of who they are in God's eyes -- how precious they are to Him -- that they'll never fall prey to any other lies.